Knives are a wonderful tool that can also be a lifesaver. I carry a pocket knife in every pair of pants I own. The first place that wears out in my Lee jeans is the right pocket where my knife ends up. I love the Swiss Army knife called “The Waiter”. It has a beer opener/screwdriver, cutting blade and a wine cork puller. What else does a Man need?
The kind of knife a person carries is a reflection on who they are:
Boy Scout Knife: This person is “always prepared”. No matter where you end up, they can start a fire, kill and cook a meal, and save the day. Boy Scouts are problem solvers and on the cutting edge of survival. They also tend to sharpen their skills by helping old ladies cross the street.
Pocket Knife: It used to be that everyone carried a pocket knife. Now that you can’t get through a metal detector while carrying one, fewer folks carry. These folks tend to have clean fingernails from routine maintenance. The sharpness of their blade is critical. You can identify them by the worn bulge near their carry pocket.
Leatherman or Multi-tool; These folks are often OCD and use their knife every day, many times. The scissors are perfect to remove loose strings and trim rampaging nose hairs. These folks usually carry other knives as well. “Leathermen” are generally not aggressive or threatening, but are handy if you need a beer opened or something fixed.
Sheath Knife; I’ve heard you can tell a real man by the size of his blade. Less than 6 inches is a legal carry but may not define the “Real Man” or impress the ladies. If the Sheath knife is carried using a back strap or strapped to his leg, and his name is Mick, he may be more “Man” than is needed. If they are also sporting a lot of tattoos, they may be overcompensating or have less of a huge…. or edge than you think.
Quick open or Switch blade knives; These Blade carriers tend to be aggressive and technology obsessed. They always need the newest and the best. They don’t mind spending money and tend to drink expensive micro brews. You can often see their blade hooked to their carry pocket. They like to show off their blades and flip them open as a nervous habit. Their knives are usually dull and are replaced often after they lose them.
NO KNIFE! The last time these folks had a knife was when it was confiscated at the airport. Their clothing is always perfect and they never have BO. Camping means “roughing it” at the Motel 6 instead of the Holiday Inn. They tend to change lanes without signaling and drive yuppie cars. If you are stuck on a deserted island with them, they will cry a lot and be of no help. Don’t be surprised if they start talking to a soccer ball with a face painted on it.
The sharpness of your blade is also a concern. Not all of us are as skilled at keeping a fine edge on our blades. I have found that it is important to make friends with someone that is gifted with this skill. Some folks tend to be more on the cutting edge when it comes to blade maintenance. Treat them nicely and give them special gifts for their helpful service. A sharp knife is safer and more useful than a dull one. So there you have it. Now, I am sorry if I offended some of you, but the truth can cut deep.